Face value
Sometimes I wonder if too many of my thoughts are subconsciously driven by movie quotes. That’s a ridiculous sentence to type and yet I can’t name how many times in a day that some memorized line or another floats through my head in response to what’s going on around me. Often I will say them out loud, though it depends on who’s around and how dorky I’ll seem.
This one, “Smile, it increases your face value!” is inarguably iconic, well to me anyway. Dolly said it, so it’s gospel. (Ok, technically Dolly as Truvy Jones in Steel Magnolias, in case you live under a rock (or you’re younger than me, or a dude reading this) and don’t know the classic play/movie.) These words were engrained in me at a very young age, all the way back in ‘89, and they pop into my mind every once in awhile; most of the time I’m talking to my own face.
I’ve always considered the sentiment as meant to uplift, encourage, and impart wisdom for the quickest of fixes to a sour mood…turn that frown upside down! It’s instructive, directive, a command - “Smile!” By way of this easy solution for your “low” face value, I’ve always assumed the delivery of a resulting boost in mood. Smiling = happy! At least that fits with my intent when I’ve felt compelled to offer this advice to myself and others.
But there’s a problem with this treasured adage that’s always nagged at me even as I utter it..is this advice really about happiness? Happiness isn’t mentioned at all. Is it even talking about how I feel? No, this is just about my face value - the value of my face, your face. And that it’s worth more with a smile on it…apparently even if the smile is forced.
Wait, it can’t possibly work that way, right? A smile surely only counts if it’s genuine, naturally occurring. You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake meaning it. And is an empty smile still a smile? Of course it turns out that “smiling” is a huge area of research, and there’s kind of bunch of evidence that (even forced) smiling can result in better moods - and maybe even better health outcomes!
So what is my face value? The value of my face. Does it need to be a certain way, be doing a certain thing to have high value? Does how I choose to set my countenance really affect my worth? And who exactly is benefiting from this value, whatever it may be?
When I put it that way, I really start to question Dolly’s advice! The horror.
But I have to keep in mind that when she said it was the late 80s and that was a long time ago. People change their minds about things, their ideas shift with times and sometimes wind up polar opposite even. What was once considered wisdom may now be quite passee, exposed as short sighted, damaging or just plain wrong. I’d like to ask Truvy (and Dolly) if she’d still give the same advice today.
There’s a more modern side to this idea that causes controversy around smiling advice. And it has to do (mostly) with attitudes toward women, what their roles are in society and how they are seen as nice people or, bitches. If you’re female, it’s part and parcel of that inherent responsibility that you have to be friendly, hospitable. Even in this progressive day and age, women are still largely expected to be cheerful, conversational, warm and even generous with our time and resources. But those attitudes are so over, and I’m not here to make you feel better. And it turns out there are no shortage of opinions about this, and even a straight up movement demanding an end to telling women to smile!
As insightful and authentic as Steel Magnolias remains after 30+ years, I think it’s fun to recognize where ‘wisdom’ comes from. For whatever reason, this line that has stuck with me, repeats in my head, and it’s still advice I give myself - and take - even though I can’t pinpoint quite why. And every time I think it, I do smile. And every time I smile, I do freaking feel a little better. So, I guess smile if you want to. Or, don’t smile if you don’t want to. It doesn’t have anything to do with your worth or how acceptable your face is. Lately, I’ve been working just as hard on my RBF, aiming for a steely grin.